The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. How you respond to yourself greatly impacts how you respond to your partner. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.

When infidelity is an issue, healing requires more than just apologies. The person needs to understand the seriousness of his actions; the person needs to take responsibility for their behavior and the pain that is has caused.  Perhaps most importantly, both partners need to recognize that the infidelity is almost always a symptom of a much larger problem. For the relationship to be saved, trust must be re-established, and this takes time.

Regardless of the reason you are seeking counseling for your relationship there are key tasks of couples therapy that can increase your clarity about:

  • The kind of life you want to build together
  • The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create
  • Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be
  • The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above tasks

A more powerful approach to your couples therapy sessions is for each person to do the following before each session:

  1. Reflect on your objectives for being in therapy.  The work should not and does not end with the end of the session.
  2. Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.

Some of the things you will learn in couples counseling is:

  • Understand and comfort your partner even when you disagree and tell your partner what you want instead of expecting your partner to know
  • Fair fight
  • Show support for your partner’s goals 
  • Listen to your partner with your heart 
  • Show affection 
  • Heal each other with LACE (Love, Appreciation, Compassion, Empathy)Understand
  • how a sincere intention to change can make a significant difference in your marriage

Using the PAIRS model I offer you practical skills to empower you to find your own relationship answers, strategies, and solutions. I offer you tools, empower you to use them, and help you see and break barriers to you connecting with your partner.