Relationship & Marriage Counseling

The major aim of therapy is increasing your knowledge about yourself, your partner and the patterns of interaction between you. How you respond to yourself greatly impacts how you respond to your partner. Therapy becomes effective as you apply new knowledge to break ineffective patterns and develop better ones.

When infidelity is an issue, healing requires more than just apologies. The person needs to understand the seriousness of his actions; the person needs to take responsibility for their behavior and the pain that is has caused.  Perhaps most importantly, both partners need to recognize that the infidelity is almost always a symptom of a much larger problem. For the relationship to be saved, trust must be re-established, and this takes time.

Couples can recover from infidelity if they are willing to work on their relationship, despite the anger and hurt that they feel now. First, they need to recognize that they have unresolved issues, as well as the infidelity itself. With help, they can move past the pain and the blame and start working on the issues that led up to the infidelity.

The key tasks of couples therapy are increasing your clarity about:

  • The kind of life you want to build together

  • The kind of partner you aspire to be in order to build the kind of life and relationship you want to create

  • Your individual blocks to becoming the kind of partner you aspire to be

  • The skills and knowledge necessary to do the above tasks

A more powerful approach to your couples therapy sessions is for each person to do the following before each session:

  1. Reflect on your objectives for being in therapy and do homework assigned, work should not and does not end at the end of the session.

  2. Think about your next step that supports or relates to your larger objectives for the kind of relationship you wish to create, or the partner you aspire to become.

Some of the things you will learn in couples counseling is:

  • Understand and comfort your partner even when you disagree

  • Tell your partner what you want instead of expecting your partner to know

  • Stand your ground when it matters

  • Show support for your partner’s goals

  • Listen to your partner with your heart

  • Show affection

  • Heal each other with LACE (Love, Appreciation, Compassion, Empathy)

  • Understand how a sincere intention to change can make a significant difference in your marriage